I recently got back in contact with an old friend, and we have been talking about dietary changes, food and exercise. She's trying to lose some weight because her doctors recommend it, and I told her a little bit about my journey.
Her response was typical: "Are you sure that's healthy?! How are you getting all your nutrients and calories?!"
(It's never been hard for me to eat enough calories in a day. And often, the nutrients you get from plant-based foods are more easily absorbed than nutrients from animal products.)
Then, after I explained to her that I'm just fine; I eat very well, indeed, and track my nutrient intake, and also supplement my diet with a multivitamin, a calcium-and-Vitamin-D combo, and DHA, which is the main essential fatty acid our brains need that we usually get from fish (you can also find it in flaxseed and algae, and I take a plant-based form of the supplement), she revealed that she would probably be vegetarian ... if it weren't for her husband, and also the prohibitive expense of supplements/ingredients.
Now listen here!
First: Although most nutritionists agree that it's best to get as many of your required nutrients as possible from the foods you eat, many also acknowledge that this is difficult, and that supplements are not a bad idea for most people. So carnivore or herbivore, it's generally smart to think about some kind of dietary supplement.
I had a holistic doctor at one point as a teenager, and he was always checking my fingernails as an indication of my overall nutrient intake. I tell you this: My fingernails right now grow amazingly fast, are very strong and white at the tips, healthy pink in the nail beds, with minimal white spots. (I only have one or two mars of white on the nail bed because I am a clumsy, clumsy gal, and I bang my fingers in doors and other such nonsense.)
I'm a big believer in intuitive eating. I personally feel that the "requirements" for protein and calcium intake are inflated. Every time the FDA has redone its dietary guidelines, nutritionists and other experts have recommended drastic cuts in the meat-and-dairy recommendations. The meat-and-dairy industries have pitched a fit -- lobbying at its finest. The long and the short of it is, if you are not a body-builder or a professional athlete, you probably don't need as much protein as they recommend. And even if you are, you can get that protein from plant sources. I have more energy than most people my age, and I think it's because I'm not a slave to protein. And my bones, hair and nails are more healthy than most carnivores because my body can actually absorb the calcium I'm feeding it.
Also, many people like to quote studies at me about brain development and how humans only got our big brains by eating protein. I've seen these studies, too, and that's a misguided interpretation at best. Our brains are not made of protein. They are made of fat. This is why fish and fish oil are commonly known as "brain food." Most studies agree that it was the increase in fish consumption that lead to our big brains. (Vonnegut wasn't so sure that was a good thing, and neither am I, but I'll let that pass for the sake of this argument.) It was not the protein in the fish that boosted brain development; it was the fat. Specifically, it was the DHA. Some people also argue that you can ONLY get the essential amino acids and fatty acids from meat. Those people are ignorant. (I mean that in the nicest possible way.) Protein does not make you smarter. And I'm getting enough protein for my needs, anyway. It's the fat, y'all. Good fats. If you are wise about your diet, you can get absolutely everything you need to be healthy. And you will probably be healthier than the person who doesn't know what a serving size of meat looks like, which is most of the U.S. population. (One deck of cards. How many servings of meat, then, is in an average-sized steak? Well over a day's worth, I can tell you that, and most people aren't eating just one steak and calling it a day -- the steak comes after bacon and sausage for breakfast, and a ham sandwich for lunch.)
This is what works for ME. I'm not advocating that everyone do it; I started this blog to show that you can be a plant-based eater and still have delicious, delicious food, from breakfast through dessert. But I won't lie: It irks me when people pretend they know more about my dietary needs than I do. I'm not overweight, I'm not lethargic, my digestive system is in peak condition, and I have the energy to do what I like with my day. I am doing just fine with my diet, thankyouverymuch. I'm not saying you need to do as I do ... just don't lecture me about calcium and protein, because I very likely know more about it than you do. Educate yourself before you start passing judgment. That's all I'm saying.
Second: You are not your spouse. You are not the rest of your family. I understand that it can be difficult to make a bunch of different meals for everyone in the house. So just don't do it!
When I decided to go vegetarian, I had a discussion with my husband about it. I told him that this was something I wanted to do ... and I made it very clear to him that I did not expect him to follow me down this road. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be a cakewalk to have one vegetarian and one omnivore in the house, but believed we could make it work.
He made the decision all on his own -- no pressure from me -- that he wanted to try it. But if he hadn't? Well, there are lots of foods you can make vegetarian (or vegan) and add the meat in later. Stir-fry. Salad. You can make half-and-half pizza, if you can stand having meat on one half.
And they make pretty darn amazing meat substitutes these days. The vegetarian hot dogs, corn dogs and chick'n products you can get are indistinguishable from their meat counterparts. Vegetarian taco mix is close, too.
I have several carnivorous friends and family members who love being invited to dinner at my house. They know it will be meat-free, but they also know it will be delicious. Honestly, who's going to turn down homemade lasagna because it has lots of cheese and no beef? (I can understand why someone might not want my vegan lasagna; I haven't perfected that one yet, it's kinda weird still. But the made-from-scratch vegetarian version is ridiculously good.) I make an amazing split-pea soup that's vegan, gluten-free and awesome; you will not miss the ham.
Now that I've gone fully plant-based, my husband is still in the eggs-and-dairy zone. And it's fine! We make it work. Soups are made creamy with coconut milk. There are vegan cheese options for enchiladas and tacos and such. My husband doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but he'll eat the cookies and other desserts I bake -- and enjoys them. When we make pad thai or fried rice, he can cook the egg in another pan -- if he even wants to add it; most of the time, he just eats vegan. He can sprinkle some feta or shredded cheddar on his food, while I opt out. It's that simple -- or, conversely, it's just not that hard.
Make what YOU want to eat. If your significant other really, really wants some meat, they can throw a chicken breast or steak on the grill. If they don't know how to cook? It's about damn time they learned. Knowing how to fend for yourself in a kitchen is a life skill. Not that my husband would ever do this, but I cannot tolerate whiners and entitled brats. Oh, you don't like what I'm making for dinner? Make your own dinner! Add your own meat-tastic ingredients! Throw some bacon on top! I don't care! But one thing you will not do is deign to allow me to prepare a meal for you, then bitch about the fact that it's meat-free.
Third: Meat is damn expensive, even for the cheap cuts. Tofu is not nearly as expensive for the same weight. (And you should buy organic, non-GMO tofu. That is a subject for another post. But even that is about half to a third of what you'd pay for the same weight in meat.) It makes no sense at all to say "I can't afford to go vegetarian." Yes, you absolutely can! If you eat meat with every meal, when you cut it out, you can buy all-organic produce and ingredients and still have money left to spare. I know DHA isn't a cheap supplement, either, but my grocery bills are still much lower now that meat is no longer involved in my diet.
If you don't want to go veg, then don't! It's no skin off my nose. (Although if you consider yourself a "green" or environmentally concerned individual, you might want to do some rethinking and some research about that ... post for a different day. And if you have kids, it's probably smart to think about the kind of world you'll be leaving behind for them to clean up. I don't have kids, but if I did, I would do what I could to lessen the human impact on the orb on which we live, that is all I know.)
But excuses are just that. There is no reason in the world why you can't be a vegetarian if that's what you want to do. The only person stopping you is yourself. Not knowing how to cook, having an un-supportive spouse, concern about money -- those are not barriers, they are obstacles. And once you try to overcome them, you will be pleasantly surprised that they are not nearly as difficult as you thought they were. (Except maybe for the spouse. I don't know your husbands and wives ... but I do know that, at the very least, if you present your dietary journey as something you want to do for your own health and well-being, it would take a real asshole to try to talk you out of that.)
